The Importance Of Active Forgiveness

Just like there is active listening, I believe there can be active forgiveness also.

We know that only active listening is truly effective.

I want to say that also only active forgiveness is truly effective when it comes to forgiveness.

When people say: “Forgive!”, it often sounds like one-time task, similar to: “Go and vote!”, “Take out garbage can!”

No wonder, that although, we choose to forgive, we still feel the same emotions and dislike the person we were angry to/disappointed at.

It is said that we have truly forgiven only when we can truly bless the other person and wish them the best. Without any selfish motives. Because of unselfish love.

That’s why I would like to propose the idea of active forgiveness.

It takes focus and concentration

I compare it with active listening. When we are doing active listening, all our attention is to listen.

There are moments when naturally our mind wants to lose focus — another thought comes into mind, distraction in the room etc. Unless, of course, we are ultra-performers in concentration and focus.

When we practice active listening then we choose again and again to fix our attention to what another person is telling. We do our best to be present in the moment.

It means a decision again and again to draw attention to what another person is saying.

The same is true with forgiveness. It is not enough that we make a decision once.

We need to make a decision again and again, until forgiveness feels so natural, that we can truly, from depth of our heart, bless the other person.

Choosing forgiveness again when we still feel the old way — hurt and disappointed.

Why is it important?

Because it is natural for the humans to want to protect ourselves, to avoid harm and to reason why somebody has hurt us. The more we dwell on such thoughts, the more emotional we feel.